My name is Edwin. I have been posting some blogs here and there. Three so far, one was on Building Computers, second was a guide on clothing and the recent one was based on healthy shakes. I know it has not been much and have they have been coming out sporadically, I will try to get some sort of schedule going, keeping them on a consistent date.
So, here it is. in 2009 my first child was born. It was unexpected and nerve-racking, especially for a 19-year-old, yes, I was young. I had just graduated high school. This meant I needed a job asap, so that is what I did. I was hired to do some security work. It was a terrible job. Due to the terrible scheduling, I never got to see my new-born and the pay was not worth it, Grave Yards will kill you, eventually. Not, only did I get out of work at 8 am but my college classes started around 930 am. This was a terrible time for me. Not being able to see my family was hard, not only that, to add to the fire, my children’s mother was pregnant year and a half later, even though she had Birth Control on her, she was the 1 percent it didn’t affect.
By this time my wife, and I were already having trouble in our relationship, we lost a lot of love for each other and the only reason we still stuck around was because of our children. In the four years of working security I have gained 70 lbs and a terrible relationship with my wife. All I did for the company was sit down in front of monitors, while listening to IGN podcast all night, it was probably not the best thing for my health, not forgetting all the soda and chips I would eat during my shift to stay awake. So imagine what this did for my body, how unattractive and grumpy I became because of it.
When arriving home. My children’s mother and I never got along, after our first daughter turned one, we really could not stand each other. Constant arguing for the smallest reasons and never any resolutions, respect was out the window. Always trying to ignore her, so we wouldn’t fight anymore, I would sit down and play video games all day. By all day I mean, Black Ops over 48 days played, not forgetting all the other releases that came out that year and years to come, I have given up in school, friends and marriage, I just wanted to escape. The only way for me to do so, at the time, was by sitting at home and playing games, ignoring everyone else around me, as I did when I was a child during my parents marriage. No one taught me what to do when going through life. I was a kid with no real guidance growing up.
But, in life there is no excuses, in the real world, excuses will not get you far, the world will still eat you alive. This, I started to notice during my depression stage, I realized, what I was doing was not good for me and not fair for my family. I was tired of being this down, depressed guy, being stepped on by everyone around me because of what I have become, irresponsible, socially awkward, hermit and man-child… ( this was a description I got, when I asked my loved ones how I was a couple of years back) and more. No one took me seriously because of what I just listed.
So, I decided to make a change. in late 2013. I finally decided to return to school, registered for 2014. Then I spoke to my supervisor and told him I was going to start school again and if I could switch from full-time to a part-time schedule, no more 90 to 100 and some hours time periods for me, no more over time for a job that I hated, with a passion. ” we choose our destiny, we choose what we want to do, no one else to blame but us”. I started to think independently and responsibly. Started to become a bit more selfish with my own well being instead of everyone else’s. But, the biggest decision for me was finally breaking up from a toxic relationship, because, believe it or not, bad relationships can ruin people. Sometimes, you just have to make that change in your life, if it is a girlfriend/boyfriend, friends and even family. We need to learn when to cut bad connections from our lives. But, I am not talking about burning bridges, but respectfully avoiding bad relationships. Letting the other person understand you are finished with them, trying to not make it a big conflict, instead making it a mutual understanding.
In late August, I decided to go back with an old mentor of mine, my wrestling “old” coach. He owns his own Dojo in the town I currently live in, a successful entrepreneur and well-respected man. I decided to drop by and ask him if I may start working out with him and train under his style of fighting. Deep inside knowing, I wanted to compete again. This is where the real transformation in my life started to take place. If you have anyone you look up to or remember someone who always gave you good life advice, try to surround yourself around them as much as you can, become a sponge and absorb the things they teach you.
Working out, training, disciplining my mind and body. This is what I was missing, working out and pushing our bodies is part of our nature, it is our primal instinct. Biologically we are creatures of movement and activities, we are not meant to be sitting down for hours through out the day and doing nothing, we must move around and be active. This was my missing piece. Since I have started training and eating healthier, I discovered so much potential in me. Found that losing weight and fitting into smaller clothing made me feel confident and not be so scared when striking a conversation with people, thinking this person is going to be smarter than me or just not understand me. “Conversation is an art, for some it is natural, for others it takes time to perfect it, but when you do, it opens opportunities to great relationships”. Now I, personally strive to be a better person every day, an educated and kinder person, if it is on the bus, in school and even on the internet. It is important for me to be better than what I was yesterday. We can all make a change of the body and mind.
Bringing this short story to a conclusion. I would like to help those who have been in similar situations, inspire those who are looking for inspiration. We are not all the same and we all have different backgrounds, different stories, but we all are humans, we have solutions and are capable in helping others around us. This is the reason why I started this blog, for the people I was watching and hanging out with, people I know are still in this looping circle of uncertainty. Friends who are still ignoring their families and some still not wanting to move out of moms and dads house at age 30, with nothing planned out for the future. People like me, when I was going through heavy depression, I was alone and did not really have anyone to talk to that would understand what I felt. I do not blame them, because depression and just, not being happy with your results, sometimes can become difficult to understand. I would like to try to help the best way I could, explain what I did to help you get better mentally as I did. Because I am still growing, I will gladly walk this road with you.
Especially now, I know we have smart, smart geeks out there, but are just afraid to express themselves because they do not feel mentally strong. But you are, if you are reading this, just believe in yourself, you may feel like you do not belong around all this other people, “cool” people. You do! You are awesome, we are in a new era, an era where your brain is very important to the world and for others around you. Our tech and entertainment industry is getting bigger every day, more jobs and opportunities are becoming available for those who have always been a part of the industry or wanted to work for those companies they looked up to, but we have to remember, this companies are in the real world, with real people, which means real interactions. Let us work hard and keep in mind that we can get anything we want when we work hard for it, with of course calculated planning. I hope this helps you guys/gals to get out and make it happen.